This year, I am getting married myself. I am constantly advertised to by wedding vendors, my email inbox is full of DJs I don’t want to hire, I have about six different planning spreadsheets, and I have a budget. I think it would be good for every wedding vendor to go through the process of planning a wedding: it has been really interesting to see the wedding business from the client’s point of view.
We had an honestly horrible time searching for a venue that worked for us. At one of the venue visits, my fiance and I were shoved into a tiny wedding chapel by a wedding coordinator who began cranking Pachelbel’s Canon from the speaker system. “This is weird,” I whispered to Joe as we counted forty chairs in the chapel. Despite the insistence of the coordinator, who we’re almost certain was faking a British accent, that we could fit 150 guests inside this chapel, which was the size of a 7/11, we decided to look elsewhere. Venue after venue, and we started joking around that we’d get married anywhere that wasn’t in front of a dumpster.
Joe and I when we first got engaged. So innocent! So unaware of how hard wedding planning can be!
Then we had a prospective catering manager scold us in front of a lot of people for not having our whole menu picked out (eleven months before our wedding) at what we thought was an —initial— consult. In my embarrassment, I couldn’t find the words to tell her that I thought we were meeting with her so she could help us with this.
It reminds me of this time I went to the free counseling center at my college to unload some stress. After sitting for an hour and telling the counselor everything I had going on, she looked at me for a minute and asked, “Do you have anybody you can talk to about this?”
But wasn’t that why I’d met with her?
Good wedding vendors won’t make you feel stupid about not knowing where to start when planning your wedding. It’s their job to guide you through the process. I’m so grateful that I eventually found vendors who made me feel like my wedding was in good hands.
So, to folks considering DIYing part of their wedding: are you in good hands or are you taking matters into your own hands? If you’re taking on some of the wedding tasks yourself, how many of these tasks are you trying to do? Are you taking on too much–truly, are you?
In my own wedding planning, I had a (truly delusional) phase where I thought I might attempt to cook all the food myself the week of the wedding, justifying it with all kinds of reasons, even though I wouldn’t have a way of keeping the food warm or serving it to my guests, and even though the catering company usually does all of the setup and all of the cleanup, who provides the linens and plates and silverware, and even the tables and chairs sometimes.
DIYing my food became something I started considering, only because I was panicking over finding the right vendors. I didn’t like the vendors I’d met, and they hadn’t articulated their value to me. Because I hadn’t met the right vendors yet, I was scrambling to figure out a way to do it on my own. When I found my venue and met my caterers, I knew that I could trust them to bring everything together beautifully for me. They were also incredibly clear and detailed about the services they provide, and made me feel like I really understood where my budget was going. It wasn’t necessarily that they were cheaper (excellent service at a special event is never cheap!): it was that they made me feel confident in giving them my money and my trust. I knew I was in good hands with them, right away.
When you find the right vendors, they will make you feel like you’re in good hands, and they will articulate their value to you. By that I mean you will understand the services they provide, you will feel confident in their expertise, and you will be comfortable hiring them and trusting them with your special day.
One of the best comments I’ve ever received from a client was this:
“The day of the wedding, I had nothing to worry about.”
THAT is my goal as a wedding florist: not only providing beautiful, memorable, and timeless flowers, but also making sure my client has nothing to worry about. And as a florist I’ve been lucky to work with wonderful wedding professionals, who strive to create a good experience for their customer and bring their very best to making a wedding beautiful. You can find wedding pros who mesh with your vibe and personality, and you can find vendors who listen and care. So, in the panic of wedding planning, don’t give up yet! Your vendors are out there somewhere.
Mallory @ Violet Floral Designs